I had difficulty sleeping and had been up a number of times. Finally, I went out to my rope swing on the porch and settled there. It was still dark, and in the darkness, I did what I usually do when I cannot sleep. I talked to God and shared my day, with the challenges that I and the people in my congregation were facing. As I sat there, the sun slowly began to rise. My attention was drawn to the birds and the variety of songs they were singing as the sun arose. I sat there once again amazed by how wonderful our creator God is — in that He made these birds with the ability to sing their hearts out. They were singing their praises to God at the beginning of the day without even knowing what the day would hold. I thought of the many mornings I rose out of bed and said, "Good God, morning!" instead of "Good morning, God!"

Maybe we all should follow the example of the birds and sing our praises to God as the day begins — before the business and noises of the day drown us out. Surely this is something for us all to ponder as we choose to walk by faith each day.

Prayer: Dear God, may we choose to be like the birds You bring into our lives. May we begin each day with words of praise to You, even when we do not know what will be happening through the day. May we rest in the assurance that You will care for us as You care for the birds of the air, if we choose each day to remain faithful to You — which we choose to do today. Amen.

John 10:14-16 – I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father. And I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that do not belong to this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd. (NRSV)

The other day, I saw some sheep in a field near my home. I pulled my car over to the side of the road and watched them grazing. As I watched them, my mind went back to an experience I'd had with a neighbour, Mr. Hill, who owned sheep.

On this particular day, Mr. Hill told me he was pretty tired because he had been up all night keeping an eye on the ewes that were lambing. He watched over them to see if they needed his help to bring their lambs into the world. As we talked, he noticed that one of the ewes was in trouble. He pointed her out and said, "Let's go help her, because it looks like she is lambing for the first time and making no progress."

I thought, "O boy, I am going to be able to help bring a lamb into the world!" But as we approached, she heaved herself up and ran out of reach because she was confused and worn out.

Mr. Hill motioned for me to stay away, and gently he called, "Come, sheep." But she would not come, so he reached out and caught her with the crook that he had carried with him across the field. She did not like this at all and began to struggle. I watched as Mr. Hill turned her head back toward her shoulder. In doing so she lost her balance. He then knelt, and with his leg over her woolly back, he was able to restrain her. He then motioned to me to come and assist him, because he needed my hands to help untangle her unborn twin lambs. A few minutes later, there they were, lying on the straw.

As we walked across the field, Mr. Hill was in deep thought. He said, "You know, Rusty, she and her lambs would have died without our assistance, but as we tried, she ran from us because she had forgotten — because of the challenge she was in — that you and I love her and would do anything to save her." He told me to sit down on the wall near the barn. I could tell as he looked at me that he had more to say. Finally, after a long pause, he said, "Rusty, you know, sometimes we are like that frightened ewe. When certain circumstances enter into our lives, we become afraid like she did. God may enter in to help us like we did with her, but we may move away from Him." He turned to me and said, "If that ever happens in your life, I sure hope you will choose to let God knock you off balance like I did the ewe, and then you will let Him hold you tight so He can work in that moment for your own good."

I responded, "I will try to remember, Mr. Hill." I did. When I looked at those sheep the other day, I remembered how the Good Shepherd wants us to trust Him. We can always be sure of His love.

Prayer: God, may we always see You as a shepherd watching over us as we walk by faith through each day. May we remember to trust You and allow You to work in our lives. May we never run away from You when You enter into our lives to be "a very present help in trouble". May You watch over us and guide us always. Amen.

I picked up the phone, and one of my elderly parishioners asked me if I could find time to come for a visit. I told him I would be by that afternoon if it would be okay with him. He told me that if he did not answer the door, I should come around the back, as he would be in his garden taking care of what God had given him to take care of.

That afternoon, I found him where he said he would be — out back in his garden. We sat for a few minutes in the shade, and he said to me, "Pastor, you know, I like sunflowers because they remind me of God."

"How is that?" I replied.

He thought for a minute and then said, "Because they are trustworthy. They keep their heads turned to the sun, waiting, even if it's cloudy. Every day when I come out here to my garden, there they are with their faces towards the sun. You know, Pastor, some days I struggle to stay loyal, waiting for the unseen God to work in my life. On those days, I come out here and look at these sunflowers. They remind me that if I remain as vigilant as the serene, nodding sunflowers, the haze will clear, and I will again look upon God's clarity. I have learned over the passage of time that God is ever-present, but my fears, self-centredness, and bustling here and there every day can muddle up my life to the situation that God's company is veiled. But when I make the choice to calm down my mind and focus with belief, I stumble on God in my everyday life, shining through the people and world around me."

As I departed from his garden, I found something to remember, and to ponder on cloudy days as my journey of faith continues.

Prayer: Dear God, thanks for sunflowers and wise parishioners who make the connection between them and You. Each time we see a sunflower in a field, may we be reminded of Your presence in this world. When You seem distant to us, may we find ourselves asking the question, "Who moved?" Help us to calm our minds and to see You in each of our daily procedures and in the people you bring into our journeys of faith. Be with us today and every day we journey by faith. Amen.

Last June, my journey of faith brought me to be the settled pastor at Lakeville United Church of Christ. I had been out of full-time church ministry for almost ten years. God had guided me to open a home for teenage boys, and then to marry my wife, who was a minister with a full-time position in a church. When the doors of the home closed due to my move to be closer to my wife, I had a sense of loss; but when after seven years of marriage my wife made the decision to end our marriage, I was devastated. I felt I had been deserted, as I lost not only my wife and her family, but the members of her church, who had been my friends and my church community. I sat in despair on the floor of my one-bedroom apartment around 2 a.m. one night and cried out to the Lord the questions I believe everyone asks when going through a divorce or some other loss: "Why?" "Where are You, Lord?" "What am I to do now?"

In despair, I thought about ending my life, but then the Lord answered my questions — by having the Holy Spirit guide me outside in the middle of the night. I went out and looked around me — and there were the stars in the dark night sky. My mind recalled how God determined the number of those stars, and I recalled the fifth verse of today's Scripture from Psalm 147: "Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure." I stared at those stars and remembered my old Scoutmaster taking us out and telling us about the constellations and the stories behind them. The Spirit of God came over me with a sense of peace, for though all my life was in disarray, the stars were where they were supposed to be. In seeing them, I was reminded that God is where he is supposed to be — as close as a prayer away and always ready to hear us when we choose to make the time to talk. God heard my despair and answered my prayer by leading me out to see the stars.

That night, I once again went down on my knees to pray for God's guidance, for I had indeed taken a detour on my journey of faith. I told him I would go where he wanted me to go, I would do what he wanted me to do, and I would say what he wanted me to say. By faith I left what once was home, answering the call to come back into full-time ministry, and I have come "home" to Massachusetts where I grew up. In my response to God's call, I have had the opportunity to be reunited with my cousins and to become involved in hosting international students once again.

For those facing times of despair or a sense of loss, my invitation and challenge is to do what I did that night — to cry out to God and then listen for the Spirit of God to answer. We need to be willing to take a walk out into the dark night and to look up to the heavens — for there will be the stars that God created as reminders that he has promised never to leave us or forsake us.

Prayer: Dear God, we thank you for creating the stars as a reminder of your presence. When we become disoriented in our journeys of faith, may your Holy Spirit lead us to go out and look at the night sky. May your Holy Spirit guide us to look up to you instead of down at ourselves. We ask this in Jesus' name. Amen.

A few years ago, I opened a home for boys. In faith, I had left a full-time youth ministry to give the young men whom God would send into my life a chance to look at their choices and the consequences of their choices, and to give them an opportunity to change the choices and the consequences in a caring, Christ-centred environment.

There were times I was unsure how I was going to feed six teenaged young men with hollow legs. Then God sent Mr. McGregor into our lives. He had seen an article in the newspaper about 5 C Haven, and he asked to come for a visit. I invited him to come on a Wednesday night, because that was regularly spaghetti night, and there was always room to feed one more on that night. After the meal, he asked to speak to me about something that had been on his mind since he read the article. We went into my office, and he shared how he wished he had a lot of money to give me, but he did not. One thing he could do for 5 C Haven, though, was that when he went shopping to stores that had a "buy one, get one free" sale advertisement, he could purchase the items. He said, "Now being Scottish, I can not give you the free one, but I can give you the one I purchase."

I agreed he could do this, and he did. About every other week, or maybe once a month, there would be a box from Mr. McGregor on our back porch. He also went and shared with the other widowers he knew about 5 C Haven, and they decided to do the same thing. Oh how the young men in the house would fight over the boxes when they would appear — to see what we would have for meals in the weeks ahead!

Unfortunately, 5 C Haven closed its doors a few years ago, but I thank God for bringing a Scottish widower and his friends into my life to give me their purchased items while they enjoyed the free ones. Now I follow their example when I go to a store that has a similar deal, and our local food pantry benefits from the choice he made to help God change the lives of young men. Is there a food bank or foster home in the area for which we could be the instrument of God's grace by being supportive?

Matthew 25:37-40 – Then the righteous will answer him, "Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?" And the king will answer them, "Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me." (NRSV)

Prayer: Dear God, on this day, we do thank You that You choose to work in wonderful and mysterious ways to help others whom You send us in our journeys of faith. Open our eyes to opportunities to reach out and minister to the needs of others as we go about our daily routines. May we be open to seeing avenues of helping others, as You desire us to do. Amen.

The other day, I received an e-mail that announced that the two-day conference I was to attend was cancelled. Now what was I going to do? I could just stay home, but I looked at my one-bedroom apartment and decided I would not do that. I have been going through a divorce and it has been stressful. There have been times when I have sat in the darkness and said, "Lord where are you?" "What has happened?" and before He could answer, I went off to do something else to get my mind off my problems.

As I tried to figure out what to do with two days, I decided to journey to a very special place in my pilgrimage of faith. It has been there that I have felt the closest to God, so I called to see of there was space at the retreat house in Douglas, Michigan. The pastor called to say he was in Pennsylvania but as far as he knew no-one would be there, so I quickly packed a few things and off I went.

When I arrived three hours later, the house was dark, but as I walked inside, there was that sense of God's presence. There is a peaceful, spiritual feeling as one enters into the home. Later, as I walked three blocks to the marina and sat looking out at the stars, listening to the traffic rushing by on the interstate highway, there once again, as it has been in the past, was the sense that God was there, and we talked for quite awhile.

As I sat there conversing and listening for God's response, I thought that lately I have been like those cars and trucks on the interstate — rushing to somewhere, and not taking the time to be still. No wonder I have felt deserted by God. I was rushing forward and not taking the time to come back to the place where we have met before and where I am sure we will in the future.

I am thankful to God for people of faith who make available those special places where we can come and find refuge from the challenges and ways of the world.

Prayer: Dear God, bless those people who desire to provide their parsonage to any weary travellers of faith who need a place to rest and restore themselves. May we remember, Lord, to be still, so we can once again feel Your presence and know You are our God and our refuge. Amen.

This evening, I was sitting in my apartment when the windows shook because of the wind outside. For some reason, I have always loved windy days, so I opened the door, walked out into the night, and listened to the wind around me. I looked up and saw my old friend, the Big Dipper, and Orion, the hunter, and the Seven Sisters. It was a clear night, and the stars seemed to shine out more brightly.

Suddenly from one direction came a cloud which covered the stars, and all I could see was this grey mass. As I waited for the wind to blow that cloud away, I found myself thinking that what I was seeing tonight was symbolic of my life at this point in my journey of faith. Out of nowhere a few months before, a very large cloud had come into my life, when my wife of six years asked for a therapeutic separation. That cloud of despair entered into my life and blocked my ability to sense the presence of God — just like the clouds blocked the stars.

I found myself questioning why God had allowed this to happen, and wondering where God was in all that was happening to me, as I moved out of the house, and later was served with divorce papers before the six months was through. I had waited for forty-four years to find a woman to love, and now it was over. I could not see the presence of God because of the clouds of gloom and despair that had blown into my life.

But tonight the wind came up and blew away that cloud up in the sky. One by one, I could see the stars reappear. Seeing them reminded me of God's presence in my life. I believe that God sent the wind to come tonight, so that I would be reminded of His presence, and I am thankful. God has been there all the time. As today's Scripture says, there is nothing that can separate us from the love of God.

Prayer: Thank You, God, for the wind and the stars and everything else in creation that You made to help us remember that You are indeed in our lives. Be with us as we face cloudy times. May Your Holy Spirit rush in and blow clouds of despair and gloom out of our lives, so that we can once again see Your presence and Your light shining forth in our darkened world. We ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen.