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Listen while you read: "Be Thou My Vision"1
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Revelation 21:4 – He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. (NIV)
My mom passed away two years ago this July. We had seen her rally in the day prior to her passing. In my heart, I knew that this was a gift to be cherished. As we chatted with the nurse and my mom shared stories about my growing up, we had lots of laughs. This rally was short-lived, and less than 23 hours later, we watched her take her last breath. We prayed and listened to worship music in those final minutes.
Nothing — and I mean nothing — could have prepared me for the next steps. A nurse came in after a short time and handed me a bunch of leaflets on grief. She said, "Take as much time as you need," and then, she left. As we walked out of the Intensive Care Unit, in that moment, it became evident to me that all around me, life was going on. No one said a word as we left; they just went on about their work. I can still hear the words that I said to my husband as I clutched the papers that I had been given: "I came here with my mom and I'm leaving with a handful of papers and not my mom. It's not fair."
The next days and weeks were filled with all of the necessary tasks after someone passes: the cards, the condolences, and all that one expects to move through.
A friend recently posted something by an unknown author that really resonated with me: Grief is like living two lives. One is where you feel and pretend that everything is all right, and the other is where your heart silently screams in pain.
I know that what I am experiencing is similar to that of anyone else, as grief finds us all. It catches us in the memories during the first special occasions in that first year, a certain smell, or a word from someone.
I know that my heart has been changed for the better through this journey. Awareness of my own grief has given me insight into the grief that others are experiencing. Although everyone processes grief differently, I now realize that coming alongside the grief of others is important, for that is where we can shine the love of Jesus into other people's lives.
Romans 12:15 – Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. (NIV)
Prayer: Dear Jesus, thank You for the hope that we have in You. Help us to reach out to others in times of grief. Thank You that You comfort us in our time of need, even when it seems that You are so far away. In Your name, we pray, Amen.
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About the author:
Julie Bowles <julieanni@rogers.com>
Barrie, Ontario, Canada
Send your feedback to the author
Thank you.
So well written and so, so true. Thank you!!
Yes, thank you for putting those thoughts to words!
Prayers for you, Julie. Such times are truly difficult.
Dear Julie, I did not hear about your mom. I am so sorry. I know she was your best friend. I miss you. Thank you for your message.
Thank you for this message today– my mom passed away 3 months ago and your devotion really hit home with me… everyone else has moved on and I am still sitting with my grief silently.
Thank you, Julie, for today’s devotional.
I liked it very much.
Blessings,
(Québec)
Hi Julie,
If there ever was a PresbyCan Devotional to reach the hearts of all those who read on a daily basis this one tops the list. You touched my heart, for which I am grateful.
God bless.
Thank you, Julie, for your devotional. My Mum died on in the spring at the age of 92, and although she knew the Lord, and so many Christians comforted and helped me afterwards, I still grieve privately each day. May I come alongside you too today, to share in your sadness, and also others who have lost a loved one.
Thanks for your writing today, Julie. Yes, we need be so thankful that our loving Lord is ever there to comfort us as we deal with life happenings. It is important that we too reach out with comforting words to those around us when they are going through sad times. Blessings for writing.
Thank you for helping me remember the final hours with both my parents. I was able to say thank you to my father for his dedication to family and the Lord. My mom was semi-conscious and so held her hand and repeated the Lord’s Prayer. She responded by squeezing my hand. I am grateful for their lives and these final moments.
Good morning, Julie,
Today is my mom’s birth date and I have been thinking of her more than usual the last few days. She passed away in 2008 and I still miss her. Your message reminded me of all those early feelings and the great loss in my heart. Thanks for sharing your experience. Blessings.
Good morning, Julie. Your story touched my heart. I too lost my Mom, but; twenty-eight years ago. I was young and broken-hearted. She came to know the Lord just prior to her passing; for that I’ll be eternally grateful. She’d had a difficult life, and God took her home.
Blessings to you and yours; have a wonderful day.
Dear Julie. My condolences.
When my mom past away I was reminded of God’s eternal glory from a passage that my mom had framed by her bed.
“This world is not conclusion, a sequel lies beyond, invisible and music, as tangible as sound.” … Emily Dickinson.
May you have comfort knowing that you will be forever at peace with Jesus.
Shalom
Good morning, Julie!
Thank you for sharing your grief with us today. It cannot be easy to lose a beloved parent, especially one’s Mother. My mother is 98 years old and we know that she will be leaving us soon. It will not be easy for us when she passes but the memories of my mother will always be with my sister and us until we ourselves are no more. Thanks again for showing me what lies ahead in the not too far future. Much appreciated.
Peace!
My sincere condolences to you on the loss of your dear mother, Julie. The depth of your grief reflects the depth of your love for her, and I can see that you deeply loved her indeed. What a blessing she was to you from your first breath until her last. Do you know the poem Stop All the Clocks by W.H. Auden? It reflects the feeling that I had when my Dad passed away — how surprised I was that life was going on just the same in the world around me when my life had altered so suddenly and dramatically and my sole focus was an ending. May God be with you as you mourn. Our faith is such a comfort to us in times like these.
Very timely. We’ll put – compassionate but not ‘dripping’ with sadness or sorrow or self-pity. Just God’s Word in the face of life changes that are common to all. I’m caring for my husband of over 50 years. He’s 89, in good health but has dementia, and I vacillate between deep gratitude for the life we’ve had together and fear of living without him. Your reflection is helpful. It’s very easy, when your days are so confined, and you’re so tired, and a bit lonely, to begin to think you’re the only one who knows what this is like. Although your experience doesn’t quite match my current situation, some of your observations are comforting and helpful. Thank you so much.
Hi Julie
Thanks for your devotional this morning of your experience with your mom passing away and life moving on. I experience basically the same as you with both my parents. Also I personally took it on myself to look out for situations like that and make it positive and more supportive for people involved.
I am in the middle of Chemo treatment.The way I and other patients get treated at the Cancer unit are incredible — you feel every time like you mean something in life when you walk out. Next time you show up they great you with a smile of we care.
I never reply on something like this so this is first time but I told my wife I have to.
All the glory to God. Thanks for the piece this morning — it means a lot me.
Thank you for sharing this tender story, Julie. My mother would have been 103 on her birthday but she’s been gone for over 40 years.