1 Timothy 5:8 – If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. (NIV)

My mother lived on her own for 24 years after the death of her husband, and at the age of 87, she started showing the early signs of dementia. We learned that with dementia, the loss of memory becomes of primary concern for families when their loved one becomes forgetful and unable to function. When that happened to our mom, we had to step in and take care of her.

As the disease became more serious, she would go shopping and forget where she had parked the car, or she couldn't find her way home. She hid jewellery and money, and forgetting where she had put it, she blamed others for stealing it. She couldn't find the remote control or remember how to turn on the television. She forgot how to use the light switch to turn the lights on and off. When we went to see her, she'd often be sitting alone, hungry, and lost in her dark condo. The scariest lapse was forgetting to turn off the stove. When we couldn't trust mom to cook for herself anymore, my sister, Shevon, began to drop off food for her, but it would be found days later uneaten in the refrigerator, accounting for her rapid weight loss. As a result of her forgetting to eat, my sister started to prepare, bring, and eat meals with our mom daily. My mother's sad and questioning eyes during this time spoke volumes as she inwardly asked, "Who am I?"

When she needed more supervision, my mom lived with me for five months, and I organized a daily bus pickup and drop-off for her to attend an adult Alzheimer's daycare facility. They kept mom engaged in different activities several times a week until that became untenable. After her stint with me, we sold her condo, she moved in with my sister, and we hired full-time home care for her. But after a while, this situation was no longer manageable. So, after much prayer for God's guidance, we decided to place her in an assisted living facility. At first, she was very upset and extremely confused in this unfamiliar environment. However, we had no choice but to place her there for her own well-being.

It is during these difficult times that we need to turn everything over to God and ask for His direction. If you are going through a similar situation with a parent, family member, or someone else, remember that you are not alone: others are in the same situation, and God is right there with you. We show gratitude and love for our aged parents when we care for them.

Prayer: Dear Lord Jesus, we lift up before You those of us who are caring for family members, those who are themselves struggling with dementia, and ourselves, too. Help us all to find peace and comfort in Your guidance. Thank You for giving us the strength to cope each day. This we pray in Your name. Amen.

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About the author:

Yvonne Myers <yvonneemyers@gmail.com>
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
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