My father never missed a Sunday going to church, but I never heard him tell me, "I love you." On his deathbed, he finally came close, when he told me, "You know that I love you." And I did know that. He showed his love for me in a thousand different ways. But he was a product more of his generation than of his relationship with God. He fought in World War II, and I suspect that he thought that it sounded weak for a man to talk of love, even to his son.

John 13:34-35 – A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. (NIV)

Do your family, co-workers, and friends know that you have the kind of love for them that Jesus commanded? Do you merely hope that they do, or have you explicitly told them? Are you even comfortable telling other people that you love them?

Years ago, I spent time at the Adult and Teen Challenge's Okanagan Men's Centre, a successful global Christian-based drug and alcohol year-long rehabilitation program. One of the aspects of this program which I really appreciated was the way that these young men (usually from very hardened lives) were comfortable in telling each other of the love that they had for one another. Often, I heard them pass by another with words like, "I love you, James," typically followed by a quick and sincere, "I love you, too, Mason."

With my Teen Challenge experience, I realized that I had a low comfort level in telling others that I loved them, regardless of how much I loved them, probably inherited from my father. This even extended somewhat to my own family — my wife and children — and certainly to casual acquaintances.

How freeing it was when I purposefully (and not without risk of rejection) became increasingly comfortable telling others, "I love you." It did not come easily. It did not come quickly. But every time when I developed the courage to say it, I realized that it was the right thing to say. Each time when I said it, I was emboldened to say it more often. Each time when I said it, I felt a little closer to Jesus.

The very great reward of actually telling others of our love for them is hearing (especially for the first time), "I love you, too." Growing up, my older brother was one whom I would have declared as being my enemy. We were competitive and fought often. How good it was to hear my brother recently say to me, "I love you, too."

My challenge to you is actually Jesus' challenge. Find someone whom you love, but have been reluctant or unable to tell them, and explicitly tell them, "I love you." It's not enough for them to merely think that you might love them.

Prayer: Loving God, give us the grace not only to live a more loving life, but to have the courage to tell others of the love of Jesus and our own love for them. Amen.

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About the author:

Rick Potter <rpotte@hotmail.com>
Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada
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